WHAT'S NOT WEAK THIS WEEK – A local show round-up
by Jake Weller
Look at this show! It’s so crazy!
Look at Lord Dying! They’re from Portland. They’re really loud! They make other metal bands look like Amish babies!
Oooh, look at Mico De Noche! They’re so heavy! They are what makes fog cloudy and the night dark!
Aaah, look at Vultures 2012! They’re totally metal! They write awesome riffs in their nightmare-addled sleep!
Heey, look at The Loathesome Couple! They rumble like thunder! They will make your face go like ERRRR!
Saturday, August 4th
Adam Noble Bass: Hey Seattle, I’m moving a few blocks North from where I currently live!
Seattle: WHEREVER YOU LAND, WE’RE THROWING A PARTY RIGHT THERE!! THERE WILL BE BE BBQ AND THERE WILL BE BANDS!!
ANB: Sweet! Can it go…all day long?
S: AND INTO THE NIGHT!!
ANB: Will I be able to see some… Black Pussy?
S: YES, PORTLAND’S BLACK PUSSY IS PLAYING!! YOU CAN SEE THEIR WHOLE SET!!
ANB: Radicle!! Can my friends get in for free?
S: IT’S FREE TO ALL!!
ANB: STATION!!
Monday, August 6th
Beavis: Hey. Hey, Butthead, check it out!
Butthead: Uhh. Huh huh. Cool. Fist…hammer.
Beavis: Yeah! And Pound! Aaaah! Pound! Pound!
Butthead: Uhh.
Beavis: POUND! POUND!
Butthead: Shut up, dingus! Look: Anus Disease.
Beavis: Eeeeehehehe!
Butthead: Huh huh huh. We must book all of these bands for Metal Monday.
Beavis: Yeah! POUND! POUND! Heh heh. POUND!
Butthead: Come…to Ballard.
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