Have you ever heard the phrase,
“Patience is a virtue not of the wicked, but of the chaste?” No?
Maybe it's because I just made that shit up (unless some puritan
asshole actually did say that – I'm not gonna google it). It's
kinda true though! The problem is, not a one of us prides ourselves
on chastity, and unfortunately, sometimes it does take a little
patience for us wicked folk to finally get a fix of what we are truly
craving. It's why we drink so heavily. Well, it is with utmost
relief that I can say that the debut album from perennial SRG faves,
Grenades, Heaven
is Empty,
is finally seeing the light of day next week, thanks to Red Cobra
Records. This has been a long time coming, and thankfully the
release show has been programmed to be the cathartic orgasm deserved
of such an affair. It'll be a reason to drink heavily!
But before
going into the excellent full-length that those boys recorded with
Christiaan Morris at the Red Room, there is much to say about the bands they have chosen to help launch it at The
Comet on Friday.
To be
perfectly blunt, I think that some may have poo-pooed Smooth
Sailing over the years. It
could be their passively ironic name, which only belies their vicious
live show and the moving rise and fall of their pummeling
metal-meets-post-whatever etudes. It could be their relative youth,
seeing as they are all fit, young men – handsome and charming in a
way that most bands seemingly strive not to be. They all have beards now,
folks; don't write them off! It could be their live,
wall-of-motherfuck extravagance, which could bring to light the
insecurities in lesser bands... Actually, they don't give a shit.
Smooth Sailing will be doing what they have been doing so goddamn
well for the last four years. What they got, they got down, and lo!
they are bringing a couple new tunes to this special occasion.
That
alone is worth celebrating, but fellow supporters, Serial
Hawk, are giving what has
become a rare performance as well. Have you ever seen a drummer
crack his kick pedal in half? Not at a joint, or at the mallet, but
the actual foot plate? Serial Hawk has done this live. And this was
only in effort to meet the sheer sonic intensity of the massive rigs
these guys play their bowel-slumping riffs through. Why go see
stadium shows, with, eh, maybe 1.5x the wattage that these guys crank
out of a phalanx of cabs in a room with a cap of 200? Don't worry,
they only turn up to 10.5, if you're not wearing plugs.
Then
there's Mercy Ties,
who shared sides of Grenades' first split and have kept up their end
of the bargain by maintaining the same frenetic rage spilt out back
then. It feels strange to refer to these guys as “openers” as
this whole bill is as solid front-to-back as it would be
back-to-front. But this all leads me back to the Grenades album...
It fucking slays. Buy a copy -- you won't be disappointed.
-- Drunkenly scribed by Jake Weller. Soberly posted by Nik Christofferson
It fucking slays. Buy a copy -- you won't be disappointed.
-- Drunkenly scribed by Jake Weller. Soberly posted by Nik Christofferson
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